Things I USED to dig:
*Mariah Carey I'm talking about the "Vision Of Love" thick hips, humble, black cat suit wearing chick. Enough of this whispery singing, hip-hopped, multiple personality having shit. Mimi? Who the f*ck is Mimi? And can she carry her ass back to where she came from? By the way, how many times can commercial radio play "We Belong Together"?)
*Black Eyed Peas ("Joints & Jams" and "Falling Up"? Those songs were classics. What is this TRL/sing along Karaoke sh*t they're cranking out now?!?!?)
*Chicken sandwiches from Chick-Fil-A. There are drugs in the Polynesian Sauce. Drugs I tell ya!
*Salmon (okay, okay I'm a veggie-tarian)
*11th grade Study Hall teacher named Mrs. Rose (She used to wear these jeans. Oh my stars! C'mon man. She had to know what that ass was doing to countless, hormone ravaged young boys. Her ass looked she was hiding a Smurf Village in that muthaf*cker!)
*View Masters (okay okay okay! So I STILL dig Viewmasters.)
*Faith Evans (The "Soon As I Get Home" Faith, not this post B.I.G./cocaine/mugshot chick.)
*Kelis. I dug the wild acting, green haired chick routine for awhile. I used to have this huge Kelis poster in my office/living room. I used to wake up and lick that muthaf*cker every morning. Then she got all stupid on me. She married Esco and I don't know what happened.
No---your milkshake doesn't bring ALL the boys to the yard. (it used to).
I think some of it has to do with my possessiveness. I used to really dig Jilly from Philly. Yo son, let me tell you...she reminded me of Chocolate cherry cheesecake. She was my "thing thing" until Lyzel came along and locked that down. Hey, I still buy her records. But the posters came down.
*Psychedelia. (I used to have all these different mood lights set up in my room. I used to call it "The Space Ship". I had this crazy black light that damn near let you see a person's skeleton. I drew a Rasta Jesus on the wall along with biblical text scrawled in magic marker. I always had some real ethereal, mind-altering music playing. Chicks dug it. Needless to say, my parents thought I was on drugs. I wasn't. Seriously.
*See Through High Heels (Man o man! I used to have this crazy jones for women in clear high heels. You know---the transparent joints with the clear strap and heel? The higher the better. Oh man. I think I dug them because they have a very pure, yet very slut-ful quality to them.
*Spider Man & His Amazing Friends. What the fuck?!?! Why'd it seem like there were only 12 episodes of this masterpiece? This show was THE TRUTH!!! Spider Man, Iceman and Firestar! Animation at its finest. On a side note: was it me or was both Spider-Man and Iceman always chipping away at Firestar? I mean her alter ego was okay, but when she changed into Firestar---Hott Damn! She used to have this heat glow and her hair was all flamey and shit. Oh. My. Stars.
If I was Spider Man, I would've had to put Green Goblin and them f*ckers on hold. Yo son, she used to fly around in a trail of flames. Flames, son.....flames. (see above pic).
*Candy Corn. You can only have but so much. More on that, later.
